Sorrow Mingled Tears
by Massao-na-Mizu
Summary: AU(Previously Knowing the Truth) Kaoru and Aoshi met when she tries to escape from Lord Batthousai. I think the story will give you much clarity. I suck at summaries. R&R!
1. Default Chapter

A Kaori and Aoshi fanfiction! A mixture of Angst, Drama and Romance!  
  
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY A/N: Okay, people! First of all, this is AU! Alternate Universe! Or is it Alternative? (Takes a minute to think and waves hand.) Who cares? Now onto the Fanfic!!!!  
  
Kaoru ran as fast as she could, her legs were very painful and sore form all the running, but she continued to. If she wanted to keep her dignity, she needed to.  
  
Her breathe was ragged, she did not dare look back, afraid to see what she knew she would see. She was now past the forest and into the village. But it was nighttime, and she had nowhere to run.  
  
"Come back here, wench!" Said a drunken voice, heavy footsteps matching it.  
  
"You can run but you can never hide!" Said another.  
  
She paid no heed to the voices and kept running. 'How utterly cliché.' She thought to herself ironically as she ran.  
  
You can see a silhouette of a nineteen-year old woman with a petite body run for her life.  
  
Aoshi narrowed his blue eyes at the figure. Tears were visible even from his place.  
  
(A/N: Small note, I read from the latest issue of K-zone that blue-eyed people have the more sharp eyes than other colors of the eyes. So, it was not just made-up that he could see form his range of view. )  
  
Behind her were two men, both holding swords and were rather drunk in movements.  
  
The one leading was a lanky man while the there was enormously fat.  
  
He stood up straightly and walked calmly towards the scene and estimated where the girl would end up in. Sadly, a dead-end.  
  
Kaoru turned a corner and halted to see she was trapped in a dead-end. She frantically searched for an escape. There were none to be seen.  
  
She could hear evil laughter form her back. She stiffened, afraid to turn around.  
  
She prayed to Buddha to help her, hope was still there, even in this fearsome moment. She was not very religious, but when moments were called, she called upon her God.  
  
"Dead-end, my little wench!" The enormously fat man said in an evil tone, laced with lust.  
  
He gripped his katana tightly. The woman would surely try to escape.  
  
"Now where to go, dear. Might as well give up." He said in an indescribable tone.  
  
Tears silently poured down Kaoru's cheeks. "Why are you doing this to me? I haven't assaulted you! I didn't do anything to deserve this treatment!" She cried, taking small steps backwards as the two took steps forward to her.  
  
"Shut up, wench! We don't need a reason to do this to you!" The lanky one spat at her, clearly drunken.  
  
She shuddered, crying still. Her hands in a praying position over her chest.  
  
They walked forward again and she took the last step she could and prayed silently.  
  
She closed her eyes and accepted her cruel fate. This will mark her lost dignity.  
  
This will mark her never to be washed-away dirt.  
  
She knew they were advancing on her. She could hear their footsteps and their cruel chuckles.  
  
She put her feat to the side, a fearful look etched on her face as she tried hard not to look. She was very afraid.  
  
But it didn't come. She could hear the clashing of metal to metal, but she refused to look. She refused to open her eyes.  
  
"What the-" The enormous man shouted.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" The lanky man demanded angrily.  
  
There was no response.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Aoshi had finally reached it. He hid so that he could have the chance to get the advantage.  
  
Finally, they came. The woman had backed up into the wall, waiting to be assaulted. He was deeply angered by the voices of the two drunken men. He had heard such voices before but never really cared.  
  
But now, he had the opportunity to save a woman and get some exercise. He walked calmly to them, shielding the unknown woman from the two.  
  
Both men were surprised.  
  
"What the-" The pig-looking man shouted, bu was rudely interrupted by the lanky man.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" The lanky man demanded from him.  
  
A lesson he had learned from assassinating: Never reveal your name to the assigned prey. For if they somehow survived, they could endanger you to the government. But that had never happened to him.  
  
He waited for them to make the first move before moving. Eventually, they did, seeing he won't answer them. The sound of metal clashing with each other could be heard.  
  
Both attacked at the same time quickly, but too slow under his circumstances and he had long before yielded both his swords and caught them. But he didn't expect the thing to happen.  
  
The lanky man ran to the girl, shouting as he violently lifted his sword o kill her. The girl opened her eyes and shouted for her life.  
  
The sword caught some light, blinding the girl. Aoshi cursed inwardly, finishing off the fat man with one slash and killed the lanky man.  
  
The girl narrowed her eyes, desperately to see who her hero was. Her eyes met a tall man, with cold blue eyes, the color like her own. She gasped for breathe. "T-thank you." She said shakily before engulfing into sweet unconsciousness.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
His eyes momentarily widened as the girl fainted. Well, what do you expect? For the girl to jump from joy and kissed you in the lips? Like hell that would happen!  
  
He sighed as he picked the girl into his arms. At least she had the decency to thank him. Now he had to take her as his own responsibility.  
  
He walked slowly, calmly towards his house. He put the girl into the room beside his and laid her into a futon and covered her in a blanket.  
  
It was now he looked at her. He didn't have the chance to really look at her in their first meeting. Well, he's got his hands full that time.  
  
The woman had creamy-white skin, and a petite figure. Long eyelashes touched her cheeks and dark bangs covered her forehead. Pink full lips that were formed into a pout.  
  
Her hair was estimated to fall down her hips if she untied it. And the others. Well, he really didn't care and headed to bed.  
  
When the girl wakes up, he would let her take a deserving bath and feed her. The encounter she had isn't a good one and she won't recover very soon.  
  
He walked towards his quarters, knowing well that the woman would be in more deep sorrow now that she's blind.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kaoru woke up with a start, bounding up in a sitting position, her breathing heaved. She opened her eyes to be greeted y complete darkness.  
  
She blinked. No. It was still darkness. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands and opened them.  
  
Darkness was still enveloping her. Fear aroused from her. Making goose bumps on her skin as she pulled the blanket closer, until it was below only her chin.  
  
She tried to feel her way. Wood was felt underneath her and she could hear its sound clearly. Her senses were sharper. Her nose could smell sandal wood. Spices were added to it, making it almost exotic.  
  
She staggered back, déjà vu engulfing her of her previous encounter with the two men. Her hands were shaking in fright at she heard the creaking of the shoji screens as it opened.  
  
Light footsteps were almost audible to the common people's ears. But Kaoru's were sharp. Even sharper than she had her eyesight.  
  
The sounds came into a halt. But she knew better than to think the person had walked away. She knew he was above her.  
  
"W-who's there?" She demanded in almost a whisper.  
  
There was no answer. She shuddered as she pulled her hands closer and narrowed her eyes, knowing full well it wouldn't matter now.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He knew she was already awake. He could hear her hands carelessly feeling the floor beneath her. Picking up a small tray containing some bread and tea, he walked slowly and calmly towards her room.  
  
He opened the shoji screens to see the woman staggering backwards and bumping into the wooden wall behind her. She was afraid; and it was very clearly written on her face.  
  
"W-who's there?" She staggered fearfully.  
  
He did not bother reply. It was not in his nature to answer such questions from a woman whom had taken refuge in his home.  
  
He set the tray down. She put her knees under her chin and hugged it with her hands against her petite and frail body.  
  
"Who are you? Where am I? What happened to me? Why can't I see?" She said in a hurry.  
  
He did not reply once again. She poured some tea into the small cup and looked up at her with his cold, unemotional eyes.  
  
"You should eat." He stated flatly in a cold voice which he assumed frightened her. Silly girl. And yet, many people thought it wise to fear him; and he preferred it that way.  
  
"How long have I been here?" She asked, mostly to herself as she tilted her head to survey the surroundings which he was sure she couldn't really see.  
  
He inwardly sighed. She won't stop questioning him until he answers. "A week." He said coldly again.  
  
"Have you been taking care of me?" She asked softly, and yet the factor of fear never left her voice.  
  
"Who were you counting upon? The two men who wanted to take advantage of you?" He said in a sarcastic voice, icily slicing her up.  
  
She was taken aback. No, she hadn't thought of that. Her cheeks began to flush in a cute pink.  
  
"NO! Of course not. I was just." She trailed off, looking at the ground.  
  
"A rhetorical question, I presume." He stated as he walked towards her again.  
  
She staggered back into the wall that she had unconsciously left while she was talking as she crawled on all fours towards him, her eyes narrowed.  
  
"Eat. You need it to have your strength back." He said in a commanding way. She did not oblige. Her stomach was grumbling and she hoped she was the only one hearing it.  
  
Lucky her. Aoshi didn't hear it and would certainly not pay attention to it if he did.  
  
"Where are you?" She saw, her hands swatting in the air, blindly missing him completely. He almost smirked if it was like him.  
  
He caught her hand and felt a wave inside of him as he felt how smooth and silky it was, contrast to his roughened ones with training and his occupation.  
  
Kaoru was still flushed so it didn't matter. He opened her hands and put a cup of tea securely in it.  
  
She took it gratefully and sipped it until it was empty. He handed her a piece of bread and she ate it silently.  
  
After her meal, Aoshi stood up and picked the tray up, with natural grace, walking towards the shoji screens.  
  
"Thank you." Kaoru murmured, barely audible. But Aoshi heard it, nevertheless.  
  
He did not do anything to show he had heard and Kaoru had no intention to say it aloud again.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The next day, Aoshi woke up a sleeping Kaoru. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: For those, who reviewed my story, thank you. Oh, and those who commented that Kaoru is being ooc, please understand that I am still working on it. It is not yet completed and has a long way to go before it is. There are many more chapters where she would evolve into her real self. Please note and remember that. I am a new writer and am trying my best to do this fic rightfully and trying to put people into their real characters. Helpful criticism is most welcome. Please, do not send me flames. If you have complains, please tell me the details so I can put Kaoru and my other characters into place. Thank you.  
  
"Every human has a dream.  
The only problem is.  
They don't all com true."  
- Written by the author her self. ^_^  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
Kaoru was dreaming. Dreaming of her past.  
  
Dream-------  
  
A sixteen year old version of Kaoru Kamiya was silently crying beside her late father's grave. Her long, smooth fingers curled into tight fists.  
  
Her father, the only one she had died four days ago. The agony it had brought her was downright painful. And adding up to it, he had been murdered mercilessly.  
  
Her mother had died due to childbirth of her late younger brother. In the process, taking her bother with her. How sad she had become then, but her father was right beside her. She overcame it. And now, barely two years since hr mother's death, her father is going to be taken away form her.  
  
The only man she loved. The only person that understood. Even her mother never understood her desire to be free. And now, not even her father's friends came o bid him goodbye.  
  
They had sold her to her father's killer, Batthousai. The blood-thirty mercenary- to be his mistress. Her! Has fate become so unfair?  
  
"What had I done to deserve this, Chichue? What?" She whispered hoarsely, fresh tears pouring down her already tear-streaked face.  
  
Has she been a power-hungry assassin in her past life? Why was destiny doing this? To her, an innocent young child, naïve of her surroundings. Unknowing how to defend herself. Alone in the world.  
  
"No one understands my pain." She said through gritted teeth.  
  
"No one understands my agony over life. Over death. Chichue, why did you leave me?" She asked her dead father, knowing well that he would not answer her.  
  
They didn't let her see her father's face before he was buried. Not told when he died until he was already buried into the ground, worms and other kinds of insects, feasting over his flesh.  
  
She hated it. The ironic fate she has to face. She despised Batthousai with all her soul. He would pay dearly. He would pay for his life.  
  
---------End of Dream.  
  
Aoshi could see the pain etched over her beautiful face. How she bit unconsciously her lower lip. He doubted it was the incident about her almost raped. No, no one would be this over reacting.  
  
Or would they?  
  
He sighed inwardly. She has to get up or she might not ever wake up.  
  
"Wake up." He said coldly. She didn't even flinch. He tried again, louder.  
  
"Wake up. woman." He said icily. He hasn't gotten her name yet. And he had not given her his.  
  
She grabbed his wrist, murmuring something inaudible. He was completely taken aback. Even his charge, Misao never had done this before. He wasn't prepared for these situations.  
  
"Wake up." He said again, shaking his hand, knowing full well it would affect her for she was clinging on to it as if her life depended on it.  
  
Finally, she sucked in breath sharply and opened her eyes, bolting upright. She was greeted by darkness, memories of what had happened flooding through her.  
  
Oh. She mouthed to herself.  
  
"I'm sorry, I was just. Who are you?" She asked out of the blue.  
  
"Aoshi." He said unemotionally.  
  
Figuring that he would not be asking her, she decided to take the opportunity. "I-I'm Kaoru." She said in a soft voice. Her past was still haunting her.  
  
Those sayings were correct. Memories are hard to forget. Especially when they had given you grief and sorrow.  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@  
  
After hours, she was already bathed and they were walking towards the market, where Aoshi was going to buy her new clothes.  
  
(A/N: I do not know where they buy clothes in Japan and in that Era. Please e-mail me for the answers! Please?)  
  
Women were gossiping about it. They had known Aoshi to be a killer, a leader of a famous gang that was cold mercenaries. And who was this woman, clinging to his arm now? Another victim?  
  
They dared not ask, afraid to lose their life. They approached the clothing store, people were eyeing them. They did not understand why the woman seemed unfocused; her blue pools were looking at nothing in particular. Maybe, she couldn't see.  
  
Aoshi gave them cold, icy glares and they did not ponder about it again. They went on their separate ways. After all, they had places to be.  
  
And, they would like to live their life longer. It is best not to cross paths with him.  
  
@~@~@~@~@  
  
"Where are we going?" Kaoru asked for the umpteenth time.  
  
"You'll see." Aoshi answered curtly.  
  
Kaoru was getting angry from all his curt replies.  
  
"No, I'm afraid I can't." She said coldly, trying hard not to shout. "As you may have forgotten, which I am reminding you, I am BLIND. Meaning, I won't see where we're going!" She snapped, all her frustrations from earlier, dripping her words.  
  
Even Aoshi was getting irked. How annoying this little girl is. Every one was eyeing them warily. And a cold glare from Aoshi wasn't really working. Even men had lustful eyes for Kaoru.  
  
He, an unemotional guy would not understand. And if he did, he refuse to.  
  
Finally, they had reached it. Aoshi felt Goosebumps creeping through him. He hated going by here. Why? He did not like the woman owning this store. Namely, Megumi; a foxy woman who had an eye for him ever since he had arrived to this town and wouldn't take a hint. Even revealing his occupation didn't bother her. It seems as if it turned her more on. He inwardly sighed warily. He wasn't really used getting all this attention from women and he didn't know how to handle them.  
  
Much like he didn't know how to handle this woman much.  
  
Kaoru was sulking to herself. Wasn't it enough that she has lost her family? And now she was blind and a mysterious man was leading her to hell knows where.  
  
Fear creeped into her. What if. What if the man would accomplish the deed the drunken men from before tried to do?  
  
No. She shook her head. Aoshi wouldn't do that, he saved her. But no one really knows, do they? She didn't know this person. Anything is possible.  
  
'What if he was a pedophile?' She shuddered involuntarily; making Aoshi arched a brow at her.  
  
Nah, she was way beyond that. She's nineteen, for Pete's sake!  
  
'Idiot Kaoru.' She scolded herself mentally for thinking such mean things. She owed her life to this man. She couldn't think of him this way!!! Okay, you could think of him as heroic, handsome, wise and muscular. Said an inner voice teasingly.  
  
Kaoru flushed. 'No way! I haven't even seen his face! How could I think of such a thing?' She hissed to the voice.  
  
But before the inner voice could think of a smarty-ass comeback, a flirtatious voice interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"May I help you, Aoshi-sama?" It said in a fake falsetto voice that annoyed Kaoru. She didn't know why though. She had heard this little squeals before. why was she so bothered now?  
  
"Megumi," Aoshi said in his neutral tone.  
  
Megumi's face lit up in a foxy way. "How can I serve you, Aoshi-sama? Would you like me to tailor you clothing?" She asked in a flirting matter that made Aoshi very much annoyed, but his stoical mask remained.  
  
(A/N: Ahh. How I love his face!!! Don't you? 0_o)  
  
"Of course, we need to get your measurements first." Megumi said in a playful manner. Aoshi knew where she was leading to and promptly stopped it.  
  
"I need you to sew clothing for Kaoru." He said in a cold voice.  
  
Megumi's eyes flashed dangerously towards the blind Kaoru who was frowning. She had the same color of eyes like Aoshi's. SO probably, she was a sister.  
  
"Come here, dear She nodded her head and smiled seductively. . Let me take your measurements." Megumi said more of a sneer to her.  
  
Kaoru obeyed. But, couldn't. Aoshi spotted the problem.  
  
"She's blind." He stated simply.  
  
Megumi feigned concern and hushed Kaoru towards the measuring room. "You poor dear! Come with me! The great Megumi will fix you something!" She said in a fake voice.  
  
Kaoru knew better. But said nothing. After all, what could she say? She was in no position to do anything. She let herself be carried away and taken measurements. After several minutes, Megumi was done and shoving her away.  
  
She smiled seductively towards Aoshi. "It'll be ready by two days. Of course, you could come visit me any day, Aoshi-sama." She said in a seductive voice, chuckling to herself.  
  
Kaoru held her head up high. She was very much irritated by this woman and wanted none of her company. It seems as if Aoshi liked her company, considering he did nothing to make her stop. No way as she going to make any move to stop this little slut. Let Aoshi fix his own women. A/N: Ahh. Done at last! Continue reviewing so that you'll get the next chapters earlier! I need at least five reviews! Sorry for the black mail, but I feel as if, if no one reviews, no one reads. And it's disheartening to write if nobody's gonna read anyway, ne? ^_^ Oh, and for those who are wondering, I will post the story of Kaoru's past in the next chappie which I haven't had the time to work on a lot. But don't worry I'll update regularly. And. The reason of Kaoru's oocness is in the next chappie1 Wait for it! It will come through!  
  
Review responses:  
  
Little Dragon5- Yes, she will. But I'm still trying to figure out how she will have it back.  
Some suggestions, Onegai?  
  
Shipo- Please read my author's note above for the reason of this twist. ^_^ thank you for reviewing! Rabidly? Ehehehe.  
  
Serpentilewitch- I understand. I, myself love K/K. But don't you agree? Something fresh is acceptable. ^_^Open-mindedness is the key to happiness! ^_^ Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Glitch- I am trying. ^_^; Please read my Author's note above, before the fic itself.  
  
Starian Princess- Hmmm. I haven't written the other chaps yet. I'm busy for I am preparing for a play I am going to act in. ^_^ But it's in my brain so. I might have probably started it when I post this. 


	3. Kaoru's Past with Batthousai

A/N: This is where I explain what happened to Kaoru in her past. Through her perspective. ^_^ I'm not gonna go to her present because I must have this worked out properly. Please no flames.  
  
And, for real notes. This would explain why she isn't like her Kaoru self. Her pain is enormous. Her life was destroyed. I figured that is how I would react if I was in her place. And. Wouldn't your voice be tight, your throat hurting if you were running for your life for all night? (I am referring to the first chapter.) ^_^ try to sympathize. This is my picked kind of genre. Angst. Life is bittersweet. And I prefer to lose myself into this fic to throw my bitterness in life. ^_^ No, I am not a shallow person in life.  
  
Ehehehe. but there are really times like this. When your world had been corrupted and you could not do anything but to carry the pain inside. Read the Times Magazine sometime. The story of a woman, a lawyer to be exact; spiritually and mentally killed by Saddam's masochist son, Udday. I highly recommend this to the people that had said Kaoru of m fic is acting. Not herself. Just understand the situation and understand what it feels to be in her place. ^_^ I'm being bitter, aren't? I just received a flame in one of my fics.  
  
Answer to reviews:  
  
Glitch- That was what I was planning. ^_ ^ If you have seen the anime, Kenshin got blinded and was cured by a fight! Your suggestion meant so much to me and therefore, I will take it! ^_^  
  
Leigh- ^_^ I love your review! I will follow your suggestion, mixing it with Glitch's and am trying to make it better! ^_^ Perhaps this chappie will make you understand, ne? ^_^ I've been preparing it.  
  
Hanna-chan- I'm glad you did. Ok, I will. You know, it feels like déjà vu, you're reviewing my fic coz' I have a friend that had the same name that luv RK. ^_^ Oh, well.  
  
Goldmund- I'll detail it in the next chappie! ^_^ I am trying to figure that out myself. That's why I'm sending myself flames! (Weird ne? But to find your flaws, you just have to review your self! It was a suggestion from my friends.)  
  
Starian Princess- Thank you! And yes, I will. ^_^ It's nice to hear from you. You're one of my daily reviewers, ne? Thank you for the support! Ehehehe! And yes, you make sense.  
  
Aga_xris- thank you very much for understanding! ^_^ Your review just inspired me! Thank you thank you!!!  
  
Flamehorsetamer- thanks a lot! ^_^  
  
Endless Nights- Thank you very much! It's really heart warming! ^_^  
  
Arwen- you think so? ^_^ thank you!  
  
Jen- not necessarily. No, the end would not be sad. I promise! ^_^ Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Little Dragon 5- Thanks for the suggestion! But I was thinking of another thing. This chappie might give you an idea of what it is! ^_^  
  
Midnight Scribbler- ^_^; ehehehe. Okie dokie.  
  
Anna- I will update when I'm finish constructing it. ^_^  
  
"Tell me.  
Why are women more of the social butterflies?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Why do they talk more than men?"  
  
"Because we were made  
To cover the things men have failed to see."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"When you make a box out of paper,  
There is a tendency you leave some creaks.  
Those creaks would eventually evolve into big cracks  
And would eventually swallow you whole.  
  
We were made to clean after you.  
To be beside you or behind you.  
So that you'll never leave  
A stone unturned."  
  
- Written by the Author of this fic.^_^  
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
This is the story of her past. That had and still affects and present. And would help to sculpt her future.  
  
She waited patiently for Batthousai to arrive. She was dressed in a flowing blue kimono that accentuated her lovely eyes. It was decorated by scattered cherry blossoms, very detailed so that you could see where they had come from. It had come from the bare cherry blossoms tree in the very end left part of her kimono.  
  
The kimono actually mirrored her emotions and her soul. Slowly withering till it would finally be gone and forgotten for all its beauty.  
  
Her eyes were closed; her head bowed in respect for the not yet visible murderer. The man beside her had looked at her with pity.  
  
She had ignored him. After all, no amount of pitying looks would save her from her doom.  
  
A man had opened the shoji screens. She dared not look up nor move from her place. It was highly disrespectful. The man had not said anything to her but talked to the man beside her. The man beside her stood up and walked to the far end corner. She could hear her conversation from her place.  
  
"Lord Batthousai had wished for you to send her to the Mistress of Lord Chimiesno." The man had said urgently.  
  
"I see. Is he not coming?" The man that had accompanied her questioned him.  
  
The man shook his head. "I'm afraid not. He would not see her until she turns nineteen. She is to be trained to be a willing mistress. Our master would not deal with a feisty woman." He snickered.  
  
The other man did not share his humor. He had stayed silent for a while. "Three long years." He murmured to himself absently.  
  
"Yes, three long years. Is that not god enough for the woman? Honestly, this world is so corrupt. A young child like her doesn't deserve to be treated like this." Said the man that had just came in.  
  
"Do you object?"  
  
"I'm sorry?"  
  
"Do you object of his decision? Would you do anything to help?" The men demanded from his new companion.  
  
Kaoru could feel the tension within the room. She so badly wanted to escape. Training? She would be trained into a whore? How. 'Despicable.' She thought to herself, thoroughly disgusted.  
  
"You know I could not do that. Even if I try, I would only die with out a reason." The man said reasonably.  
  
The man that had accompanied Kaoru nodded solemnly. "No one can help her. No one will listen to her painful cries as he did the deed and take time to help her. No one will raise a finger to defy him." He said bitterly.  
  
Kaoru was stiff. She could not move from her place. She tried hard not to cry. This would be effective if she just closed her eyes.  
  
(A/N: I have read form some reading material that it is not possible to cry with your eyes closed? Can you please right me if I'm wrong? ^_^)  
  
@!~@!~@!~@!~@!~@  
  
They had led her into a big palace where she was welcome in not a very polite or kind way.  
  
The tall mistress regarded her with an expression that looked down on her. Not only physically, but mentally. She felt like her soul was bared to hell. She hated it.  
  
"Lord Batthousai was right. This young girl will need all the help she can get." She sneered, shushing off the men that had made her train in that place.  
  
When it was clear that they had left she looked Kaoru all over. Kaoru gripped her fingers tightly.  
  
"You do realize you'll be like me when you grow older?" The woman said in that voice men swoon over.  
  
It only made Kaoru boil inside; but she said nothing. She did not like to be kicked out of this place.  
  
"Listen to me Kaoru," She said, emphasizing her name, mocking her. Kaoru flinched but did not retort.  
  
"Mistresses are only high-leveled whores. When we grow old and sag, they would throw us like ragged dolls. They only have us for pleasure. Don't fall in love." She said intelligently.  
  
Even though hard, she had respected her. Mistress Rei knew. She knew that noble women were only seen, not heard. She knew that when noble men or what they prize them selves are old and have old wives, they would take fresh flesh, like her self.  
  
"You are a toy. Remember your place, Kaoru. I have learned it the hard way. And it made me like this." She said to her, head held high, and even her mastered unemotional voice to young people like her, her voice was tinged with bitterness.  
  
Kaoru nodded numbly. "Yes mistress." She said in a tight voice. She did not want to turn into what Mistress Rei had become. Like every mistress had become. She wanted to fight it badly. But, would she be called a brave woman or a fool in the end?  
  
@!~@!~@!~@!~@!~@  
  
She had thought of escaping. But seeing the men guarding all the passages disheartened her. How could she escape? Worst, what if she was caught?  
  
She could already see it. Before she would die, her dignity would be taken away. The evil laughter of the guards, while they did their deeds. A tear trickled down her creamy-white skin. Her nails dug into her palms.  
  
She closed her eyes and began to sleep a dreamless sleep. "Chichue." She murmured before she lost herself into oblivion.  
  
@!~@!~@!~@!~@  
  
The routines had etched in her mind, carved into it, making it hard to cover up. When she turned nineteen, she had finally been granted the privilege of seeing the man that would own her.  
  
She was not looking forward to it. Mistress Rei had personally picked her attire and brushed her hair, putting it in an elegant twist.  
  
She would not forget her words.  
  
"Kaoru." Mistress Rei said in a voice you could detect she was trying to be calm and reserved.  
  
"I'm sorry for your fate... You do not deserve this. However, if you have the chance to escape. Write to me." She said in a soft whisper directly to her ear, making her ocean blue eyes wide in shock. Tears formed in her eyes, but she had successfully stopped it.  
  
"Thank you Mistress Rei, for all the things you have done for me." She said in a sincere voice.  
  
It was the last time, she had promised herself she would use that tone. Mistress Rei did not respond, but led the way to where the guest was.  
  
@!~@!~@!~@!~@!~@  
  
Batthousai's eyes were closed. Why had he taken this woman, the daughter of one of his murdered men to be his mistress?  
  
He knew of the danger. Yes. In one time of closing his eyes, he may never have the chance to open them again for she would have the thought of killing him.  
  
Alas, she would not be victorious. He was known for killing men that had quite a talent in their swords. How could he not kill this woman that he thought was ignorant? He would not take her by force. He had confidence he would come around to take her by will.  
  
But when? It was yet to be known to him.  
  
Finally, Rei, lord Chimiesno's mistress opened the doors, her cold eyes, regarding him and nodding to him.  
  
"I am not guaranteeing she will not have flaws. I did my best." She said, her head held high.  
  
"Perhaps, you weren't a good enough teacher." He replied curtly.  
  
Her eyebrow arched momentarily before a woman came.  
  
Their eyes turned to her. Her head was bowed. She bowed to Batthousai and remained standing, her head pointing to the floor.  
  
She was a temptress. At one look he had regarded her so. She was well- developed and possibly easy to tame. But she had not yet opened her eyes. She might be a fiery one. Her eyes would regard her as whom she is.  
  
"Open your eyes, wench." He commanded her.  
  
Her eyes opened. It was like a wave flowed in the ocean. For that was the same color of her eyes. Ocean blue eyes that betrayed no emotion whatsoever.  
  
He could see at the corner of his eyes Rei's smirk. This was better. He thought I won't have to deal with her talking.  
  
"Continue like that and I might spare your life. I do not want my women talking." He said coldly.  
  
She only nodded, agreeing to his wishes. After all, she did not wish to speak to him anyway.  
  
She had remained still in the ride to his place. Batthousai did not particularly care. Women are not brought to society to be heard; but only to be seen.  
  
She was unusually quiet for herself. Of course, it was one of the trainings Mistress Rei had taught her strictly. She was not allowed to talk. Even if she was addressed to, she wasn't allowed to talk, not until the men had told her she could.  
  
"You would make this an opportunity." Batthousai's cold statement broke her thoughts. Her perfect brow arched without her realizing.  
  
"A great opportunity to revenge you father's death." He sneered at her.  
  
She did not answer to this, but only blinked, looking at him. His eyes were closed, so she could look at him with confusion.  
  
"Answer me woman." He snapped at her.  
  
She did. "I am not a fool, Lord Batthousai. I know my place. Three years makes people understand where their place is in society. I would be an idiot if I would make a move to kill you. You have killed my father. That is proof enough of your abilities, is it not?" She wanted to say more, but she forbids herself to. Her voice was monotonous.  
  
"You answer with your own known knowledge, but are you certain? Am I certain that you will not make a move of murder?" He asked her coldly.  
  
"Do not worry about me, Lord Batthousai. I worry enough for myself. I am the one in danger, am I not? You are the one with the abilities. You are the one with freedom to kill me." She stated monotonously. Inside, she feared the fact that she may have just answered back to her lord. But her anger was rising. She would be killed if the lord questions her further.  
  
Batthousai let out a low chuckle. "Very well." Was his last sentence said to her before he had slept (or at least she thinks.)  
  
@!~@!~@!~@!~@!~@!~@  
  
No one had welcomed them in Batthousai's home. Probably he had killed them all. Kaoru thought to herself fearfully. Will this be a use and kill kind of thing? After the pleasure Batthousai will get form her. Would she be killed? Or given to his friends (if he had any) for fun? She shuddered at the thought inwardly. She had been scanning the palace with her eyes, looking up what has to be done. Unfortunately, there was none and she knew it meant she would be bored to death that day or probably her whole life.  
  
"Woman, I want you to tend to the gardens, sees to it food is cook and that my palace is spotless." He said coolly. She bowed.  
  
"Yes Lord." She said dutifully. Demanding, she thought. But not very hard to fulfill. It was one of her duties, as the mistress. She recalls Mistress Rei's words and their time together. She was taught to tend to the gardens, cook delightful meals (although it was very hard and took much time for she was ignorant in cooking) and cleaning the house without touching anything (actually, she was taught how to bark orders to the servants.)  
  
"Be sure to fulfill all of my orders or else." He threatened her. She was calm. He noted to himself. Why was she calm when he threatened her? Was she used to this harsh, rude treatment? Quite so, if she was not shaking in fear. Perhaps. She is hiding her fear?  
  
For her own sake, he hoped so; for he would not like to tame another wench today. He was not even in the mood to sleep with a person.  
  
Night had fallen into the palace. Seeing her chances were high, especially if Batthousai was sent off into a mission and left her in the house, she would easily escape. But that is too far ahead. Besides, her lord might need her tonight. She sat in her bed, waiting for him to come.  
  
She brushed her long black straight hair, her fingers guiding the brush down her waist length-hair.  
  
Suddenly, the shoji screens opened and she stopped brushing her hair and bowed down. There appeared Batthousai, looking at her coldly.  
  
"Not tonight, wench. Sleep." He ordered her, leaving her and closing the screen behind him. She breathe a sigh of relief. She was not yet ready and there fore would not like her first time wasted.  
  
"No, it must not matter. It will be gone anyway."  
  
It was weeks that he had almost done the deed.  
  
Flash Back  
  
Kaoru brushed her hair silently. Her lord had returned from an assignment that day. She was wrong not to think that he would leave her alone, unattended. He had asked a friend of his to look after her.  
  
His name was Sano Suke Sagara.  
  
Anyway, she put down the brush, ready for bed. Actually, she did not intend on falling asleep. Afraid to be raped or something.  
  
Technically, she was there to give him pleasure. If only she was there to get some herself.  
  
She felt the shoji doors open, revealing a drunken samurai. She stiffened instantly.  
  
"Kaoru." He said in 'that tone' that was very suggestive. She stiffened even more, hating his voice, hating his scent which was most likely sake.  
  
"Kaoru." He said again, his hands flying to her shoulder instantly. She didn't move a muscle. And it seems he didn't care if she did either.  
  
"You're mine and mine only." He said roughly to her, trailing butterfly kisses on her neck and shoulder.  
  
(Well, I've heard that geishas wear very revealing kimonos. Please consider this as one. ^_^)  
  
She could feel tears starting to form in her lovely eyes. She closed her eyes and attempted to stop them. She would never let herself be vulnerable with a man that could kill her so easily. He was nibbling her earlobe. She knew for her ear was moist. "Kaoru." He breathe again.  
  
She wanted to snap at him. Say something like 'I heard you now will you shut up?' or 'Don't you dare take that tone when saying my name!' But it was hopeless. She hated being helpless. But as it is, the race of female Homo sapiens where bound to be the prey. The victim of the male species.  
  
The kisses stop. Her moist ear had dried and she dared to turn her head and see her lord, sleeping soundly, snoring a bit. But not very loudly.  
  
If there is a chance to escape, this is it. She thought to herself determinedly. She had no other choice. And besides, she knew the path of escaping. She had even forgotten about Mistress Rei's offer. And she knew that even how fond that woman is of her, she would still let her be killed. The weeks with Sano Sagara was a bit fruitful for he would go to the city, cross paths she had not even realized where there and tour her. Of course, if he didn't, he would have to suffer the consequences. Either take her with him and be bored to death inside the big palace; or leave her behind and let her escape after wards getting him self killed by his lord.  
  
He had scaled the options and chose the for her to go with him. He had not even notice her long glances on the other paths. She had memorized it, trying to look innocent and get lost; after she had seen what she had to, she would call on him, saying that she had lost him and he would not even nag on her.  
  
She put another set of clothing, a kimono that was not very much revealing (please note that she is a mistress, dressing sluttily is expected of her.)  
  
Yes, she can pull this off. She can escape. She had run and met two men that had been drunk, having seen her with lustful eyes, made her their prey. Making her run into Aoshi and starting the story.  
  
End of chapter 3  
  
Author's notes: I am sorry for the long await of this chap. And for the next chap. I have been having mind block and could not think of anymore. Anyway, this may have helped clear the misunderstandings and please, read and review this chapter. Tell me what you think, ask me what you do not have clarity of, (boy do I sound formal! ^_^) and make me a happy ningen! ^_^ Thank you for all the suggestions, those wonderful encouraging reviews and the constructive criticism. If you have a suggestion or an idea you might want me to put into my fic, please don't hesitate and click that bottom submit review thingy. Yes, go ahead and make me happy!  
  
Ja ne! Sincerely yours,  
  
Massao 


	4. Chap 4part 1

**Knowing The Truth**

By Massao28

**Disclaimer: **You do realize that this is posted in Fanfiction.net? ^_^

*** Important Note: If anyone had bothered to read the information about this fic, Knowing the Truth, I was considering to strip it down, but now, a sudden burst of inspiration coursed through my Author Veins and I had new ideas! Dark ideas… anyway, I might raise this to R-13—no, I really will when times come and am gonna change the name to 'Rain Mingled Sorrow'. Also, please review!**

**Review Corner:**

Glitch: Thank you!!! ^_^ it's really nice hearing from you all the time. You're a very good psychologist and your words help my ego. ^_^ Thanks! 

Midnight Scribbler: you think so? Thanks!

Aeris: Really? I'm glad you see it my way!

Starian Princess- You're flattering me aren't yah??? ^_^ anyways, I planned for it to have a battle, but I'm not sure how to do that. If you have some ideas or wants to co-author, you're free to email me and you'll have my eternal gratitude and the credit! ^_^

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**CHAPTER FOUR**

"Where are you going, Aoshi-sama?" Kaoru asked in a polite voice. She didn't even blink-as if she could see the intensity of Aoshi's gaze. He opened the shoji screen wider and stepped out of his home. Kaoru remained seated on the tatami mat. 

"Out," he answered shortly. Kaoru did not try to pry. Living with the man for a whole month made her more knowledgeable on how to interact or act towards him… he needed his space and letting her intrude in his home was intrusion of his 'needed space' enough.

"Will you be eating here for dinner?" she asked him and he nodded his head without thinking (Aoshi not thinking?! Gasps!). He muttered yes which she heard even though it was very soft. Her senses had sharpened and she enjoyed the feeling of it. 

"I'm passing by the market so I can accompany you going there… when we get there, Yasuhiko would take care of you." She nodded her head and stood up, closing the shoji screens behind her, slipping on a pebble and making her almost out of balance. Out of reflex, he saved her slipping easily. It was cliché, yes. But it was not very back then.

"A-arigato Aoshi-sama," she said shyly, her face reddening. She didn't see it and Aoshi paid it no heed, helping her to her feet; steadying her. They walked silently, headed to the market. No words needed to be exchanged. 

As they reached their destination, she scented a familiar scent and clip-clopping of wooden sandals on the ground as Yahiko approached them. "Kaoru-chan! Aoshi-sama!" he waved his hands frantically unlike a fifteen-year-old that he was. He grinned boyishly at both as Kaoru returned a smile to him (though she didn't see the smile, she felt a happy aura of Yahiko). As the young teenager dragged her by the hand, Aoshi had her other. She turned to him, slightly questioning in her expression. As he pulled her close, a thought kept repeating itself in her head like a mantra…

'Pull me closer…kiss me… kiss me now… I won't push you…' the thought made her feel all dirty and such, yet excited in her own right. Aoshi's smooth lips brushed with her ear as he whispered something almost inaudible so she could only hear and fully understand… 

"We'll have a visitor later on," he said simply, emotionless, yet not harsh either… All her thoughts and mantra shattered as disappointment and shame swept through her and stayed inside her heart. 

She nodded her head and smiled at him kindly… "Hai, Aoshi-sama," she said obediently as he slowly let go of her wrist and let Yahiko take her. His eyes never wavered as he looked at her retreating form… The elegance of her walk was fascinating. He turned away and continue his walk to his destination. He was already delayed. 

But it was nothing. Misao could wait.

What felt odd to him was the fact he had not only agreed to escort her to the market.

He was the one to offer her too.

Highly irregular indeed

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Misao was so excited to board the train that day. Imagine: she was going to see her Aoshi-sama again!

She tapped her fingers on the rail of the window and smiled wistfully. Her guardian was going to welcome her! Her long-time crush!!! She grinned, blushing as a squeal of excitement escaped her tiny mouth and people shot weirded [not an actual word] looks at her. 

She was too excited to deal with the looks of unknown people! After all, this was going to be fun! All alone with Aoshi-sama! Trying so hard to cook and wishing not to end up poisoning him!

She sweat dropped at this

She was raised a ninja, not a cook—she shouldn't be the one cooking!!!

But then again, she blushed as images flashed inside her mind. 

Her and Aoshi-sama getting married… having lots of children and all that cheesy things normal and average women hoped for! Maybe Aoshi-sama will even marry her when they met at the station!

Okay, that was too advanced, but could you blame her? She was young and in love! She clapped her palms on her lap and formed them into fists as she tried not to run towards the train station. 

It had taken all her willpower to stay seated on her seat. She sighed, patiently awaiting her self draw closer to Aoshi-sama.

Soon… it would be really soon…

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Are you absolutely sure of this information?" A cold, stony voice asked in a statement tone. 

A man, in the corner of the spacious room trembled as he heard the voice of his young master. Or young for a very powerful Hitokiri [sword slasher] He nodded his head, wiping the sweat forming in his brow, bowing his head. "Y-yes, Ba-Batthousai-sama!" he said in his old voice. The sword slasher huffed, making the older man shudder again. "I-I am positive of this information! I've seen her myself! But," he hesitated to share to him this piece of very important information he had wanted to leave behind, but his fear of his master was great. Overpowering him.

Batthousai raised his eyes, emotionless green orbs that were often mistaken to be cold. They best not see his cold glare. "Tell me," he said softly, commanding and secretly promising pain if not obeyed.

The man again bowed his head redundantly, creating a red spot on his forehead as his head repeatedly smacked down on the matted floor. He raised himself in a stiff posture and began to tell his Lord what he knows. "She is… blind… And she is currently protected by a promising rival!!! A very strong sword slasher and will not hesitate to kill to assassinate!!! He knows many—" the man was cut short by Batthousai's steely voice.

"I do not wish for your useless sputter old man. I did not ask for his status. You waste my patience." With that, he sent him a hard glare, which was a certainty to bring heartless actions towards the faithful old man. The old man gulped. "What is his name?"

"Aoshi Shinomori Master," he answered quickly. Batthousai rose up from his sitting position and raised his unsheathed sword directly between the man's eyes. 

"Very well. You will lead me to her and after that, your family will be given abundant support and you will have a choice of how you will die and who will kill you." With that, he stepped out of the room, opening and closing the shoji screens.

A smirk made its way to his lips. He could finally finish what he had started. To feel her lips tremble as he bruised them with hungry kisses. As he made her pay for the sin she has committed to him. 

He promised himself she would cry out several times with different emotions.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Aoshi Shinomori arrived at the train station, staring straight ahead as women passed, obviously giggling over him. He wore a cold, emotionless mask on his face, waiting for a glimpse of the young, hyper-active Misao, his charge.

The train swiftly passed by him and stopped in the middle, letting boarders arrange themselves before they got out with their luggage.

"Aoshi-sama!" someone cried out from inside the train. He flicked his eyes to see his charge, Misao grinning happily and stopping right in front of him and bowing. She raised her head and smiled. "HI!!!" 

Aoshi barely nodded his head, taking her bag from her and walking away, knowing she was beside him. "You will be staying left to my quarters," he said in a simple tone. Misao looked at him quizzically.

"Why? I used to say on the right where there is a good view of the pond. Why do I have to change my quarters, Aoshi-sama?" She asked curiously.  Aoshi looked at her from the corners of his eyes and looked once again, straight ahead.

"Kaoru will be staying there," he responded. Misao raised her eyebrows in surprise. _Kaoru? Kaoru? Who the hell is that?_

"Who's that," Misao asked her throat tight. "Your mistress, Aoshi-sama?"

"No," Aoshi answered coldly. Misao did not have any right to interfere with anything he does or to question him about his actions. Beneath the cold exterior, he was peeved and slightly annoyed with her prying.

"Then who is she?" Misao asked, trying to get hold of the jealousy she felt. Who was this girl that suddenly pops out of nowhere to steal her beloved Aoshi-sama from her?!

"A guest," Aoshi said in a tone that firmly said it was the end of their discussion. Misao did not speak again, fuming inside to beat the crap of this _'damsel-in-distress' using her quarters as her own. _

She clenched her fists and dug her nails on her palm, making small, red crescents. All she knows that 'Kaoru' jumps her Aoshi-sama or something. Or planning to kill him for al they know.

_Well, to have no worries, the best thing to do is get rid of her, she decided. One way or another she'll do something to get her away._

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Okay, this is only part 1 of this chap. I just wanted to get something out for the readers to feast one while I'm working on all the other fics and chaps for this fanfic. ^_^ Please review!


	5. Sorrow Mingled TearsThe Beginning

**Sorrow Mingled Tears **

**(Previously Knowing the Truth)**

**by Massao na Mizu**

**Disclaimer: If I DID own Rurouni Kenshin and its characters, I wouldn't have posted this in FanFiction.net. **

**(Some information were gotten from 'Memoirs of a Geisha'-A must read)**

Massao: I changed back to my original name and I'm back from my hiatus. I missed you guys! ^_^ I hope I did not drive you away. and I changed the name as I have warned you from the third chap. In the fifth chap or six, I'll be labeling this as an R-13. Okie? ^_^

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**Part Two**

Green eyes flashed dangerously in the night. He could not believe this! All his plans are wrecked because of this surprise job! What an utter annoyance, this foolish man. Afraid of competitors and so, he leaves the young Hitokiri, Battousai to do the dirty work for him. He remembered the conversation with the geisha assassin sent by Toyama-san.

"Toyama-san does not ask for a lot. He is willing to pay your desired amount if you get the job done. Quickly," she said firmly. Green eyes coldly looked up to study the geisha. A strong personality this girl has, he thought to himself. With the hairstyle of a first style geisha and the makings of one. Yet she was dressed as an assassin with razor-sharp fans as weapons that must have weighed a ton each and proved how much she could do. 

Traveling down, her legs were bared to make it easier for her to move. before he could process anything more, she rose from her sit-kneel position and started pouring him some tea. "Think about it. You have a minute to tell me your decision and two minutes to finish your tea." She raised her red eyes so rare that he had a feeling she was not a whole Japanese. For he doubted it if anybody blood-red eyes such as hers.

_Such as Kaoru has unique blue-rays ones that changes hues playing with her emotions._

He blinked. "I accept." he said, raising the small cup and downing the liquid. The geisha bowed and raised to a straight sitting position. 

"I shall be accompanying you. Toyama-san's orders. I will finish what you cannot." It did not bother him, but for the record, he raised his eyes to meet hers and glared at her. 

"Is he saying that I cannot finish my job? If he is afraid, why not let you finish it instead?" He said coldly, controlled. She raised an eyebrow, pursing her lips and returning his cold glare.

"It is not that you cannot finish the work; it is that he doesn't trust you. I may be an assassin but I am his daughter." She confessed in a firm, emotionless voice that had taken him aback.

Was this Toyama that cowardly to let his daughter learn the skills of a temptress and the skills of a cold-blooded assassin? Was he this self-centered not to think of what his daughter preferred? The truly rich people confused him. They act as if they control the world. But the truth was, they are puppets and afraid of it.

He nodded. There was nothing left to discuss.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

All the cooking was done, so Kaoru patiently waited for Aoshi-sama to arrive. She closed her eyes for the time being. Her senses are sharper when her eyes are closed. The nature sounds filled her with serenity and she sighed in relaxation.

When was she last this peace?

Never. Even when her father was alive, she was always protected and caged inside their house. She could be assassinated by enemies! She was never given any chance to do what she wanted.

Then she had her geisha/mistress training with Mistress Rei that stood as her 'big sister'. You see, to be promoted as a Geisha, you need to have a big sister. For she will be the one to guide your life as a geisha until she lives.

After that, she fell upon Battousai. It was not as if he was a dirty old man. No, he was far from that. In fact, if he wasn't so cunning and heartless, she would have fallen for him. His looks are something not to be ignored..._But the fear she held for him... _The thought of being his mistress sickened her to no end--especially because he was the one that killed her father.

Tears prickled her blind eyes and she wiped them away with the handkerchief Aoshi-sama had given her. Aoshi-sama... He was the last man she saw before she became blind... But because of the heavy shadows that night when he saved her, she didn't have an opportunity to see his face.

The only thing she knew about his looks where his glinting cobalt eyes--almost like hers that flashed that fateful night, and raven lack hair short in a stylish manner and that he was very tall.

That was all.

Kaoru sighed, closing her blue-gray eyes. Why was she so anxious to see Aoshi-sama? _'Because!' _she thought, _'he saved your life! He feeds you and gives you clothing and shelter!' _That was true, but why didn't she feel convinced?

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**


	6. Chapter 5

**Sorrow Mingled Tears**

_Massao na Mizu_

**M/N: **(Massao's notes) Stretches and yawns Eh, sorry for that. I'm beginning to think that everything and everyone is against my fic-writing. TT First of all, I suddenly have a huge mental block. Then, my dad decides, "since you won't make original and you can't pass my HIGH standards in your grades, I've decided to ban you from using the internet until further notice!" And when I was FINALLY permitted to use the computer again, guess what? The modem broke down! Arrgh. Sorry for those rants. Pats readers head You know I love you all, ne? That you're all my confidants and you are all special to me, ne?

Also, guess what? **I GRADUATED!** Yes!!! Ü Well, Grade School that is…

There was a time that I went to the mall to use the cyber cafe and to check my mail and was glad to receive feedback from all my fics. (I am still astonished that people are still reading, I love you all. If I could, I would've given you a Kenshin doll. Or an Aoshi. Depends) and those of you whom have written me LONG reviews and constructive ones, I emailed you back, didn't I? and those whom reviewed one liners but left their email addresses, I've added you on my contacts so that you would be updated and you wouldn't hate me. Well, this is such a long note coz I missed you all!!! Notes must be proportioned to the size of the fic so I've given my best to make this long. Remember: Read and Review!

Oh yeah, I didn't refer to Kaoru's eyes as Cerulean since I usually do that for Kagome in Inu Yasha and they don't have the same hue. Cerulean is a lighter shade of blue. So I use Sapphire.

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**Open Up My Heart**

Misao was, in her circumstances, very silent.

In fact, it made Aoshi worry that something was wrong with her. Maybe something was bothering her? _What could it possibly be???_ Or maybe she was still tired from her train trip? _Misao is used to train trips. Besides, it's impossible to be tired sitting there inside the train and walking towards the small restaurant inside._ Then what could it be?

Did he say something that upset her? What could he have said? Perhaps...

His eyebrows momentarily raised and went down again as he thought of the most probable reason for her to be upset. Aoshi looked at her from the corners of his eyes.

Kaoru.

Misao was obviously jealous that Kaoru is using her usual quarters, the quarters she uses whenever she paid a visit to him.

Aoshi decided not to pay Misao's actions heed. He had told her that Kaoru was a guest. There was no reason for her to be jealous or offended. In fact, Aoshi was a bit irritated. He had informed her that Kaoru was a guest. There was no need for her to be sulking.

_A guest that does household chores and cooks for you_

_It was by her decision!_ Aoshi thought to himself, balling his fists. It was her way of paying him her depth of gratitude. He never asked for her to do anything.

_And yet, you still let her._

It is Kaoru's choice if she will stop or not. Besides, she will surely die of boredom if she doesn't do anything. In fact, this is also one of the things he's doing for her. Keeping her company by letting her do things that are beneficial and not a waste of precious time. It is actually convenient for both of them.

_Yes, yes. Keep telling yourself that and you might even believe it yourself._

Aoshi decided to think of something else. Looking to his right, Misao was gone. To his left, she was nowhere to be found. He sighed. How typical of Misao to vanish when he least expected her to.

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**

"Maa! Such pretty necklaces!" Misao held it up to let it catch some light of the sun. The owner nodded her head and smiled.

"Sapphire necklaces are pretty popular this year," she said in a benevolent voice. "They sell a lot." Misao smiled, holding it in her neck to see if it looked nice on her. The sapphire beads shimmered--for Misao it was breathtaking. But her eyes clouded when she realized it didn't look good at her after all.

She tried to smile, placing it back on its stand. The saleslady frowned in confusion. She was so close in selling another one! But something held this customer back. "What's the matter?" Misao shook her head.

"It doesn't look good on me," she said lamely, admiring it, still. The saleslady's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Why do you say that?" She asked in pure curiosity. It actually matched well with the young customer's blue fuku and shorts. Her black hair and eyes blended with it surprisingly. She didn't understand.

"The stones are too big for my neck. It is also too long. Perhaps I'm not old enough to have such a necklace yet." She shrugged. She was, after all, merely sixteen. Her body was not yet well developed and she had very few curves.

_Yes, it would not be nice on her, after all... _

She bowed low to the saleslady. "Thank you very much. Maybe someday I'll return here and buy one. I'm just not yet ready, both physically and mentally. Also financially," she gave an embarrassed laughed and briskly walked away so that the woman wouldn't see her cheeks that had turned bright red from embarrassment.

Misao suddenly remembered that she had left her beloved Aoshi-sama while sulking. But now she was in better mood and decided to forgive her Aoshi-sama. Probably Kaoru really IS only a guest. That she isn't even as pretty as she is and that she's chubby. Maybe Aoshi-sama is only keeping her as a household keeper and cooks for him.

_Yes, that's it!_ She nodded vigorously. Now, she wouldn't have to worry trying to please him by cooking. It was **_NOT_** her field of specialty. Actually, her field was far from it.

A pat on her head snapped her out of her reverie. She shook it away and gazed directly into cobalt blue eyes so cold and showed a bit of annoyance that it both startled and frightened her.

"Er, hello Aoshi-sama," she said pathetically. There was a sweat drop expressing her embarrassment of being caught-in-the-act. He raised a brow. "Uhm... I was uh," she pointed to her back where the store was. "I was being a girl," she said finally.

Aoshi didn't reply. Instead, he turned her back on her and continued walking, expecting her to follow her. Misao sighed and did so, but not without grumbling about 'snobby men'.

He turned to see Misao stumbling on her step, sulking. "Come now," he urged her quietly. She suddenly flashed a brilliant smile and jogged to keep up with his long strides.

Her thoughts suddenly flew to the girl Aoshi was keeping. Why was he keeping her, anyways? Was it for the free labor? It was unlike her Aoshi-sama to ever do things like that. Probably the girl was really handicapped that it would be such a bad thing to let her roam the streets on her own. She looked at the face of Aoshi, trying to find or see any trace of emotion. There was none.

"Aoshi-sama, may I ask you a question?" He said nothing, a silent permission that yes; she could ask anything she would want to. Except about his job, that is. "When this Kaoru girl came to you, was she already blind?" He didn't say anything for a long while.

Misao had given up waiting, thinking that he would not utter a word to her. But he did. "No, I helped her from gangsters wanting to steal her dignity." It was like Aoshi to be humble, not wanting to boast that fact that he had saved the life of the nineteen-year-old girl. Misao nodded her head, thinking it over for a moment before asking a follow-up question.

"So did she say anything about her past?" She knew her Aoshi-sama would never ask, but distraught women usually say things that they wouldn't regularly say if they were not distraught. He shook his head, signaling it was the end of the discussion. Finally, they hailed for a carriage to take them to Aoshi's place.

Misao looked at the fields from the carriage window. It was not every time that a stranger she has never seen interested her. In fact, it has never happened before. But she found herself drawn into the mystery enveloping this Kaoru-person.

_Who was she? Where did she come from?_

What could she possibly bring for her and Aoshi?

**

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**  
**

Kaoru has been waiting for a long while now. She had been thinking of re-heating the food for it had been minutes when cooked them. It was unlike her Aoshi-sama to be late for meals—never. Even if he were in the other end of the world, he would surely arrive at the designated time he said he would.

In short, he is a man of his word.

'But where could he be? Was it possible he encountered some difficulties in the way? Was he alright?' Kaoru could not help but feel worried for the man, who extended his home to her, gave her food to eat and entrusted her with money, cooking and his house. It was something she has never felt before.

Sounds from the outside jolted her to reality and she blinked. A female's voice talking quite loudly light and heavy footsteps on the ground—for sure it was Aoshi-sama and his charge.

She had learned to familiarize of Him. Whether it be his voice, his smell, his little actions or movements that confusingly caught her breath. Though she would never admit it to him, but she adored him.

The wooden screen was slide open and the voices emerged, following inside of the house. Kaoru could hear slippers put to the side as they entered the house where she was waiting, her legs folded beneath her thighs to greet them welcome.

"Really Aoshi-sama!" The female's voice said, persuading. "It's okay!"

"If you call standing near the edge of a cliff, awaiting to be swept by the strong blow of the wind to die, then yes, it's okay to fail your exams," he said, annoyed. Kaoru has never heard him use this tone of voice before. But as he said quite sarcastically, it was not okay to fail exams.

"How many times do I have to tell you? That—oh," she interrupted herself, stopping to spot her, Kaoru. She bowed, feeling their eyes upon her.

"Welcome home, Aoshi-sama and Makimachi-san," she greeted politely.

Misao looked at Aoshi questioningly but he said nothing in response and went directly into the dining room, sliding the shoji screen to the side, the fragrance of the food wafting to their noses. Misao's stomach growled embarrassingly loud and she blushed, sitting and laughing to cover up.

Kaoru stood behind them, closing the door when they have finally seated themselves. She had memorized every inch of the place, not needing to grope the walls or floor.

"I hope you find what I have prepared to your liking," she said graciously, bowing. Misao and Kaoru waited for Aoshi to say, 'Itadakimasu.'

Since Aoshi was the head of the household, no one was supposed to eat anything before he said these words and picked up his chopsticks. He raised his chopsticks and rice bowl and murmured, "Itadakimasu."

Kaoru and Misao did the same thing, lifting their rice bowls and chopsticks, began to eat. With the guidance from Aoshi, Kaoru was able to eat, knowing where the food was placed. Misao observed her.

"Kaoru-chan," she addressed her. "Is it hard to be blind?" Aoshi looked at Misao, glaring. The answer was obvious.

Kaoru stopped to think ponder the question before answering. "Well, it depends on what you are doing… Like preparing the food, cooking. I usually ask help from Yahiko-kun or Aoshi-sama to help me out… But my other senses have improved so these senses help me get on with life… I have not been blind all my life."

"What? Oh, I remember--" before she could say that her Aoshi-sama informed her earlier, Aoshi glared at her warningly and she closed her mouth, looking discomforted.

Kaoru understood what Misao was trying to say and smiled. There was no worry about answering it truthfully. Kaoru nodded, _"Yes,"_ she said. Misao and Aoshi shared looks.

Commoners and Aristocrats used the normal pronunciation of yes as "hae" while the Gion pronunciation the dialect used by Geishas was pronounce and said as, _"hei"_ which is how Kaoru pronounced it.

It meant only one thing: Kaoru was trained in the arts of Geisha or Geiko. Misao couldn't help it. She had to ask.

"So you're a Geisha?" She blurted out before Aoshi could stop her. But Aoshi continued eating as if nothing had happened. He was curious too, it seemed.

Kaoru nodded calmly. It did not bother her to say the truth. "Yes, Makimachi-san I--" Misao cut in.

"Call me Misao,"

"I was trained as a geiko but not to _be one_," from the silence, it was evident Misao didn't understand. "When you are trained for something, it does not necessarily mean you'll be doing it for your whole life or using it as a profession… It's like cooking… you learn how to cook, but you're not a chef. Same with me… I was going to be a--" she interrupted herself, bowing her head low and continued eating.

"Misao," Aoshi said.

"Hae, Aoshi-sama?"

"Stop pressing on matters that are not needed to be discussed," he ordered. She nodded her head absently; thinking of what Kaoru was about to say. Unable to find out, she silently ate.

"I'm sorry Misao, it's my fault… I should have said that I didn't want to discuss it," Kaoru bowed lowly, excusing herself to clean up her used plates and waited in the kitchen for them to finish.

"How odd," Misao murmured to herself. She faced Aoshi. "Isn't it that there are only two options for you to pick when you train to be a geiko? Either you become a maiko or a mistress…"

"Didn't I tell you to stop?" Aoshi reprimanded her. Aoshi didn't speak again. Instead, he rose from his pace on the floor and took his used eating utensils and went inside the kitchen to help Kaoru.

**

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**  
**

He oddly felt the need to protect her; to shelter her. 'Her' being Kamiya Kaoru. He placed his utensils by the sink. Kaoru was already drying hers.

"Hello, Aoshi-sama," she greeted politely. He didn't reply. Instead, turned on the other faucet and started cleaning his share. She was hesitant to let him wash. "I'll do it, Aoshi-sama. This is my means of gratitude."

To hell with gratitude, he didn't care. "Don't mind Misao. She's inquisitive, that's all," he told her. She smiled, albeit not looking at anything in particular. Not that she could.

"It's okay, Aoshi-sama… It's weird for a woman like me to be spotted somewhere, unknown and could not even pinpoint where she lives…" she trailed off. "You see my father was killed by Battousai. Surely you know this character?" she asked him. Of course he knew. Everybody knew him. "When my father died, I was sold to my father's murderer to be his mistress… it was fortunate for me to escape. But I know I can't evade him forever,"

Kaoru said nothing more. Aoshi wasn't going to ask more than he was given information of. "I hope my eyes heal soon so I wouldn't be a burden anymore… He would surely be looking for me. I apologize for my inconvenience."

This was nice. He need not search for him anymore. _Kaoru wasn't a burden as she thinks she is, _he thought to himself. Then, he did something that surprised him and Kaoru entirely. He pulled her to him in an embrace; his face buried in her hair. "You're not a burden," he whispered.

"Aoshi-sama?" she uttered through half-closed lids. She was confused, and tired. She just wanted… wanted to withdraw.

"Are you always this polite?" Aoshi asked her.

"Well, I was trained to be this way…"

"From now on I'd like you to act the way you want to. Be yourself." he commanded. She blushed, head lowered.

"Well… I'm not exactly the most agreeable woman in the world," she said. Agreeable was an understatement to the true hardheaded, stubborn, funny Kaoru Kamiya everyone once knew. But the events, the experiences she had to go through have changed her. Changed her a good deal that she had a hard time looking at herself in the mirror without being repulsed that she let this happen.

Kaoru was afraid she has lost her true identity in the midst of all the changes, the hidden emotions buried deep within her.

"Be yourself," he said again. That was the end of that. It was made clear from the tone of voice he used.

She nodded her head. Tomorrow will be another day.

**

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**  
**

_Aoshi slid the shoji screens open, waking Kaoru up at the noise. She looked up at him. Surprisingly, she can see! Yes! She can see! But there was a shadow, darkness that hid the face of her savior from view. But she could see parts of his body as he came closer. His hands, his torso, his shoulders…_

_"Yes, Aoshi-sama?" she found herself asking in confusion. It was probably midnight, what was he doing in her room?_

_Aoshi did not respond. Instead, he came closer until he was half-kneeling and with one of his callused hands, caressed Kaoru's face gently. It confused Kaoru greatly, but the warmth that his large hand emitted sparked something in her she wasn't accustomed to feeling. She had no clue what it was… but whatever it is, it comforted her greatly. She looked up at the man, but his eyes were still covered by the shadow of his long bangs._

_His nose was upturned in an aristocratic way, but it was just perfectly so. His lips, slightly rosy surprised her that she couldn't help herself to bring up her hand and stroke it with her thumb._

_With another callused hand, Aoshi enclosed it with his, bringing her palm to his lips and kissing it gently, again and again. By this time, Kaoru had a warm feeling inside her, like caged passion, swirling inside her, knocking for release._

_She found herself breathing heavily and hot with wanton need that she cupped his cheeks on her small hands, panting. He pulled her closer by the shoulders, gripping them with large hands until they were breathing the same breath. It was like air kissing._

_Kaoru bit her lower lip, and then subconsciously licked it. Aoshi can't take it any longer and kissed her, crushing her lips with his passionately. Kaoru felt herself melt completely to him, encircling his neck with her arms, pulling him ever so closer and running her fingers through his soft, silky raven locks._

_Something snapped and in an instant, Kaoru's hair was loose and Aoshi had them in his fists, he let go with a hand and cupped her chin to slant her head and bit and continued kissing her. She opened her mouth to gasp and felt Aoshi's warm, wet tongue slide in effortlessly and it was flipping…_

Kaoru awoke, drenched in her own sweat and panting. Her world felt darker than before. But is was tinged by a bright color she couldn't see clearly. Was it orange? Blue? Pink?

Was this a sign that her eyesight was slowly coming back?

She didn't understand any of this… this _dream. _Or stirrings… But… in her dream, she saw a glimpse of Aoshi-sama. She tried to hold onto it, but as quickly as it found its way inside her mind, it disappeared, leaving her disappointed, a heavy feeling inside her chest that she could not place.

Was she really lusting for the person who has given her shelter? She blushed, her cheeks feeling hotter than it already was. She can't think of these things! No, she just possibly can't!

She made a guttural sound of annoyance and frustration and covered herself once more with her blanket and tried to sleep once again.

**

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**

**  
**

_Be yourself…_

How can she do that again? Kaoru had forgotten. But there was nothing to be disagreeable about—nothing that would need her to be defiant. She liked being like this. It pleased her to be so. There were instances that she had acted the way she had before. Like when she first met Yahiko, he was a troublesome, rude boy that annoyed her very much. After a bit of scolding from both sides, they had become great companions to each other.

"How am I going to act?" she pondered out loud. She rested her chin on her fist, sitting on the veranda.

"Act for what?" Misao asked from nowhere, snapping Kaoru out of her trance. "Good morning Kaoru," she greeted her as an afterthought.

"Good morning Misao-san," Kaoru greeted back. "Have you eaten breakfast?"

"Yup. Act for what?" she pressed on. Kaoru blinked.

"Ah, uh, nothing," Kaoru lied. Misao rolled her eyes, and then narrowed suspiciously. 'First time to act like myself—lie badly.'

"Tell me," she said more of an order than a request.

"Well… Aoshi-sama said that I should be myself… but as you do know… I've been trained to be like this… I've almost forgotten being who I was back then…" Kaoru confided. "They say I was lively, but how can I do that? I don't know how to act like myself, which I find strange. Also, a lot of habits I have and the things that have been taught to me are a part of me…"

Misao looked thoughtful, smiling brightly at Kaoru who 'looked' at her blankly. _'Of course,' _Misao thought, slapping herself, _'she can't see!'_

"Well, look at it this way, Kaoru," she blushed in embarrassment from the word she used.

Kaoru waved it off. "I'm not offended. Please continue," she said.

"Don't think of it as acting… think of it as… a personality change," Misao told her. Kaoru had a confused expression on her beautiful face. "You know. You don't have to **_act_**. Acting is well, playing another role—and a role means somebody else. Don't be somebody else… be yourself."

She had trouble understanding it, but came to the conclusion that she should at least try for Aoshi-sama. "Thank you, Misao-san--"

"Misao. Just plain Misao," Misao cut her off.

"Thank you, Misao," she said, bowing her head and hurrying to get her purse and go to the market.

"No problem. Where're you going?" she called out.

"To the market," Kaoru answered, unsure if she should invite her to tag along. She heard hurried footsteps and Misao was suddenly in front of her.

"Can I join you, Kaoru? I haven't been there for a long time!" she exclaimed in childlike-exuberance. Kaoru smiled, nodding her head.

"But can you please ask permission first in Aoshi-sama? He might not be pleased if I take you with me without his consent," Kaoru told her. Misao huffed in response.

"Wait here," she said hastily, running towards Aoshi. Kaoru could hear the shuffling as Misao opened the shoji screens quickly and asked for permission. Actually, she just shouted, 'I'm off to the market!' to Aoshi. She beamed at Kaoru who did not look in her direction, but still smiled benevolently. It will be hard to get used to her being blind. A very pretty girl with unusual sapphire blue eyes… such a tragedy that they can no longer see.

"Ready!" Misao said, trying her best to slow down in the benefit of Kaoru and also for her: she wanted to see how Kaoru walked femininely so she could learn.

Kaoru laughed—a laugh that wasn't very feminine, but still pleasant. Misao thought it weird, but then again, Kaoru had been asking her how to act normally. She shrugged it off.

"You don't have to wait for me, Misao. You can go ahead," she informed her. Misao sweat dropped.

"Er, to tell you the truth, I'm not very familiar with the places, so I might get lost…" she grinned sheepishly, trying hard to learn Kaoru's way of walking and tumbling over instead.

"Are you alright, Misao?" Kaoru asked worriedly, having heard the sound of her 'accident.' Misao blushed.

"Yup!" she said, laughing off the embarrassment. She peered at Kaoru and frowned at herself. She won't have trouble hiding her embarrassment and her burning face since she couldn't see.

"Oi! Kaoru-chan!" a young voice said. A young man (if you could call him that) was running to them, waving his arms wildly that he looks like a duck trying desperately to flap its wings.

"Oh Yahiko, hi there!" Kaoru said cheerfully. Yahiko looked confused but shrugged it off.

"Hello, Kaoru-chan! You sure don't act the way you usually do," Yahiko noted, almost to himself than Kaoru.

"I'm trying to act like myself," she replied truthfully. "What I was before I was trained…" She smiled again—something that had become a part of her—a habit she can claim as her own.

Realizing the rudeness she had shown, Kaoru bowed her head in apology. "Forgive my delay of introduction. Yahiko, this is Misao, Aoshi-sama's charge," using her keen sense of hearing, she easily pointed out the people. They nodded to each other and stood at either side of Kaoru.

"So Kaoru-chan, what are you going to buy today?" The grocery usually lasts for a week, depending if Aoshi dines with her or the quantity of the food she buys.

"I'm not really sure, Misao," she said with doubt. She also didn't know what to prepare but maybe something simple would do.

"I'm not really sure, Misao," she was still trying her name out on her tongue. It still felt foreign and somehow, she knew that Misao did not only regard her as a friend…

But also as competition.

Kaoru felt confused. Competition for what? Or for whom? It struck her that Misao was so attached to Aoshi-sama that she probably misinterpreted Kaoru's disposition in Aoshi's life was threatening.

For a while, she felt out of place, but then, she could be wrong. And why not prove to Misao that her intentions were not what she thought it were?

With that in thought, she smiled at the girl and asked, "Would you like some sushi tonight?"

**

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**Bibliography:**

The information from which the Japanese cultures done in the fic like saying "Itadakimasu before eating" where taken from Geisha, A life by Mineko Iwasaki and Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden based on the life of Nitta Sayuri. You know, even when I read it again and again, I don't tire of it. Now that is a great novel!

Gion Kobu from what I know and understand is a place in Kyoto where there are 150 Okiya lodging house—where a geisha lives in this period of time.

**Translations:**

I've put some on the way but I just want to clarify: The right spelling of "Yes" in Japanese is "Hae" a lot of you may not know this and I only knew this information from Geisha, A Life.

Geisha means "artist" so no, they are not prostitutes.

--but they use the more specific term that is "Geiko" or woman of art

Maiko means "woman of dance".

Stirring-this has another definition on the great book by Lois Lowry, The Giver. It means er… I forgot the scientific word for it… blushes passionate dreams.

Massao: the kissing scene disturbed me a LOT. Sorry, I'm not used to, er, describing it. Hahaha. too young too young! Hahaha! I can't help but laugh at myself, but the interaction was needed to show that they have romantic feelings for each other.


End file.
